


No more tears shall drop from your cheeks anymore

by Salicina



Category: Persona 5, Persona 5 Royal
Genre: Dubious Consent, Gen, Self-Esteem Issues, gender neutral reader
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-21
Updated: 2020-05-21
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:09:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24310351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Salicina/pseuds/Salicina
Summary: The promise of happiness is difficult to fight against.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 25





	No more tears shall drop from your cheeks anymore

**Author's Note:**

> This is very indulgent for me. Maybe the same for you?? Think of this as an adult!reader self-insert AU with the reader taking the place of Joker.

The floors echo way too much for your liking, the white marble reflecting your lonesome figure, the dregs of rebellion. In the end, you couldn’t do it, couldn’t tear them away from their new reality. They looked so happy now, and isn’t that what those kids deserve? 

Yes, you had decided. At least, for a little while, because here you are, ready to ruin it. As the adult of the group, as the leader of the Phantom Thieves, this is your responsibility to bear. Conceptually, you know that Maruki’s reality is wrong, that people should face and overcome their hardships. 

But do you truly believe it?

As if sensing your doubt, the air wavers and warps, and then he appears, just a few feet in front of you. Dutifully, you raise your dagger. Hair slicked back and clothes as pure as his dream, Maruki fixes his gaze onto you, your name a sad murmur falling from his lips.

You tense, willing adrenaline to rush through your veins and block out his voice. He knows it all. Your fears. Your insecurities. Your regrets. He’d be a fool not to use them against you.

“Always having to be strong, always taking on the burdens of others...You’re in pain, aren’t you?”

Tears prickle at the corners of your eyes like they did the day he found you. You’d thrown yourself into Kamoshida’s palace, tearing through wildly, not a single care for your own being. 

_“S-Sh-Shiho. S-she jumped!”_

_Ann was inconsolable, her coffee untouched. Ryuji cried next to her, fists balled, wet, angry tears dripping onto the table._

If only you had been faster! Regret pushed you through the bruises and gashes. You grit your teeth as your wounds hissed and bled. You could take it. Surely, this was but a mere fraction of the pain Shiho must have felt. Besides it serves you right for hesitating even for a second about taking Kamoshida’s heart!

_“I won’t let anything like this happen again!” Your anguished vow rang through the halls, drawing the shadows near. These twisted palaces. You’d pillage every last one of them! You wouldn’t let anyone else get hurt!_

Eventually, your body gave out. If not for Morgana’s vanish ball, you would have likely died there. That’s how he found you, a pitiful person curled up in an alleyway. Naturally, he offered his services, and at Morgana’s urging, you accepted.

“That doesn’t matter. I need to stop you. This isn’t right.”

Snapping back to the present, you respond. You can’t keep the tremor out of your voice, can’t meet his eyes.

“Why isn’t it right?”

He asks it gently, the way he always does, approaching you with soft steps. You can almost imagine it. Being back in his office, warm and safe. Being able to be honest. Being able to be weak. 

“Pain is a part of life. It forces us to learn and grow.”

You try to back up, but your feet stay frozen to the spot.

“‘Forces.’ That’s a bit of a telling word, isn’t it?”

Maruki enters your space, ignoring the dagger pointed at his throat.

“You’ve had to accept it for so long because you didn’t have a choice. I don’t blame you for finding my reality unnatural. Here.”

He places his hand over your grip, and your dagger clatters to the floor, skidding beyond your reach. Warmth curls up your arm as his words echo in your mind, down to your very core.

“Let me give you a taste of happiness. Then you can truly decide for yourself which reality is right.”

The tears overflow as it hits you. Everything is alright. You don’t mess up. (What is there to mess up?) The kids are smiling and laughing together, living their lives to the fullest. (No more having to pick up the pieces, or tend to any scars.) You have a full-time job. (Were you seriously going to stay in that attic forever?) And most of all, for once in a great many years, you don’t—

Vaguely, you realize your knees are buckling. With it, your thief outfit flickers, a fragile translucent shell falling apart.

‘I don’t hate myself.’

You mouth the words in amazement, and your legs finally give. Luckily, Maruki is there to catch you. He lets you lean into him, tenderly running his fingers through your hair. The sensation soon fades. Ah. That’s right. It was only ‘a taste’ after all. But now that you know what it feels like, the loss of it leaves you all the more empty. 

You feel like crying all over again. Something slithers over your foot.

“What do you think? Was it to your liking?”

His voice is everything you need right now, soothing the ache.  
Silently, you nod, staining his shoulder with your tears. With a practiced hand, he rubs comforting circles into your back. 

“Would you like to stay there?”

“...Yes.”

It’s barely a whisper, but he hears it and smiles.

“I’m glad.”

Warmth and wetness pierce into the back of your neck. Maruki holds you, filling your ears with reassurances and encouragement as you gasp and quiver. Suddenly, you’re sleepy, surrounded by the best blanket in the world. Your eyelids droop, and your body finally relaxes.

Tomorrow is going to be a good day.


End file.
